So I went to our homecoming dance for the first time O_o
Yeah I said first time.
I'm a senior and I've never been to our high school homecoming dance XP

I've been to the homecoming game (had to) but never the dance.
Never had the right friends.

Now I do I suppose lol

Sydney, Kayla, and Kathrine 8D
It was a lot of fun though I was incredibly intimidated at first XD
I eventually broke down and started dancing too

See, she was moving and needed help so me and Kathrine came over to help (Kayla didn't come over till like 10 cuz of work). So we helped...and stuff...had some good ol' lesbian bonding time (wow that sounds bad)...bought some nice nutritional party food Hahahaha
and had the sleepover.
It was awesome XD though really only Sydney was being a "good kid" sort of.
Kathrine and Kayla wouldn't have been able to stay over unless Syd's mom stayed over with us...Syd's mom assured their parents that she was going to...but guess what? She didn't ahahaha
Then there's me...see, ordinarily I would've just stuck around at my mom's and then gone over to syd's to help out and all that but she wouldn't of let me because relatives were in town for the weekend...
I would've had to of gone to see them....
So instead, I went to my dad's...made mom think I was staying at my dad's...and rode a bus back to everett and Syd's house. XD
Yeah....

But it was worth it, I don't care x)
Ah, and we four are starting to call ourselves the L word of our highschool

So...I'm watching these videos on youtube in this "Coming Out Archive" (look it up sometime 8D ) and I decided to type out my "coming out". 
The reason I say part 1 is because I haven't fully come out yet and I won't consider myself as such until I tell my dad, which will take quite some time probably.

 

I was looking at my tags and I laughed at how much Kayla's name stood out and I thought that I should post more about Sydney XD 
I DO hang out with her more after all XP
Especially last week O_o 
Monday we ate lunch at Sister's, hung out at her place for a bit, went to Blockbuster to buy movies, went to Alfy's, and finished the day with awkward moments caused by old friends (softball buddies) of ours.
Tuesday I went to her place and we watched The Exorcism of Emily Rose (I laughed at Syd when she jumped...which happened twice I believe) then I watched her clean (lol) and we talked.
Wednesday was...oh yeah it was a Seagull Day (...yeah...school thing...omg summer is almost over) and I went there, got my schedule, payed (well, ok technically mom payed, but I gave them the check) for ASB and all that, got my card...all that fun stuff. Then I hung around with Sydney, Kayla, and Bethany at the dance team booth thing. XD Kayla n Bethany are on the dance team...just the two of them X_x so they were advertising.
Thursday.......hm....what was thursday? I don't think we did anything on that day...no wait, I'm thinking of Friday.
Thursday we went to the library for a bit, renewed our cards, and checked out some books (XD yesh...LGBT books...hahaha).
Friday I didn't do anything with her but I did go to a friend's dance lesson...thing (well, had to, it's for her party. She chooses her bestest friends and we all dance) which got me interested (well, moreso. Now I actually feel I can do it) in learning ballroom dance.
From that I learned that I like dancing with girls a lot more than boys and I like to lead much more XP
I joked to Kayla that I ended up reinforcing my own gayness.
Ah, now that I think about it Kayla shocked me by basically offering to learn ballroom dance with me O_o
That made me feel really awkward though because of a conversation that happened on tuesday between me and Syd where she claimed that I was falling in love with Kayla.
Sydney n Kayla are going out remember..
So yeah, I got awkward after that.
But Kayla said Syd was joking........which I kinda believe but <.< I swear there was a part that wasn't.
Oh well.
I am not falling in love with Kayla by the way XP
I actually took the time to think about if I ever could and I decided that I really doubt I could. On the really really small chance I do (really small), it's not like I'd act on it anyway. I want Syd n Kayla to stay together as much as those two XD That, and it's not like the feeling would be returned, Kayla loves Sydney a lot lot lot and visa versa :3
Really, those two fit so well together and they're so cute x3
If my life was a show, I'd totally ship their couple hahahahahaha!
I hope we all remain friends for a long time.

By the way, I went to Kayla's Denny's again on Saturday. I got dinged for not saying goodbye which is actually something I tend to do X_x I should break that.
Going to that Denny's is probably gonna be a regular thing (every weekend when I'm at my dad's) as long as I have money lol.

 Um...hmm...if I were to die...within the next couple weeks I suppose I would want something like...
"Do not mourn but know that those of you who would take the time to do so are the ones who had made my life that much better. Know I shall forever watch over you until such a time that we reunite."
...Er...it'll probably be in tiny writing hahaha

Yeah so last post I said I didn't really know any other gay pplz.
Except now I suddenly met three just Monday.
Interesting how things change huh?
Yes, two of the three are in a good relationship too. They're so cute XD

Ah and I'm trying to set up a bit of a friendship (more than just a teammate) with the girl I like *cough* so I can feel a bit more comfortable with confessing my feelings.
If I read her right, when I do confess, we'll still be friends and she won't hate me XP

I've been texting her every day since my first random text on Saturday. Usually in the morning where I say "good morning, miss" 
Yeah, I call her miss.
Then there was this one message I sent where I didnt realize until afterwards that it could definately be considered flirting...

But anyway...OMG she is so cute >< and beautiful and funny and sweet ><
What surprises me the most about her was that she actually NOTICES me. I'm used to just walking up quietly with nothing said, and leaving pretty much the same way. However, now when I walk up she'll notice and say HI and when I start to leave she'll say goodbye.
In fact, the day I was officially hooked was this one day where practice was canceled and we had a small meeting. Anyway, after a while of hanging around, I decided that I might as well leave. So I wave goodbye to people and leave quietly. 
As I walk away I suddenly hear this "Bye Sam!"
I turn around and she's standing there in the doorway with this big grin and waves, giggling a bit.

I'm just really sad that she's straight XP
especially since I can imagine me and her together more than anyone else I've ever liked.

Okay I got that out of my system. See ya

Y'know what? I reeeeaaaally hate being gay >.>
Well, it's not that I hate it, it's just...frustrating. In fact, and this is probably mostly due to my own anti-socialness, I've only known three gay people in my entire school, 2 of which were girls too. So...because of that, I get this kind of "I'm alone!" feeling where I can't really talk with people my age who understand! >< (face to face. The internet is great and all but...it has its limits)

But that's not all of it.
It's kinda funny actually, me and my mom were watching Across the Universe again yesterday and my mom, talking about Prudence, is like "She's really into liking people she can't have."
Now in my head (I didn't come out to either of my parents yet) I'm like "Wow, that sounds familiar...Oh I know why! It's because I'm really into liking people I can't have too!"
Yeah...
All except one of the people I've ever had a crush on is straight. That one person was not only older than me but also lived on the other side of the country. Kinda hard to work with, heh.
It's REALLY annoying liking someone a lot but knowing that you'll never have a chance with them.
To me, it seems a bit easier for straight peoplez cuz it is more likely the person they're crushing on is straight as well thus they at least have a small chance.
Well, fine, I suppose everyone has a small chance no matter what, but really, that chance for me is incredibly small. XP
I just HAVE to crush on really straight girls don't I? Not only that, I have to live with this feeling until it goes away...
Grr...

In other news, My new fave character to play in on SSBB is Ike! :D
Yay Ike!

Yeah so...I got Super Smash Brothers Brawl yesterday...and at like...10pm today I officially unlocked all of the characters...
I think it's pretty fun XD 

Anyway, I was playing online a bit and I found out that apparently the best character for me to use is Lucario on account of it seems difficult to kill me (O_o) and I end up killing people without realizing it. In fact, I was doing some team battles and I kept going off against this person who was always Fox and I think they ended up holding a grudge against me cause he/she kept trying to kill me but failed...and would end up losing XD
Actually I think a lot of people ended up holding a grudge against me since I would frequently have zero deaths :D
My favorite character to be is meta-knight tho. Unfortunately, there was extreme lag so I ended up being unable to use him as efficiently as I would >.>
It's always fun to have like five seconds left and the other team, knowing full well they will lose if they don't kill you, end up chasing you around the screen and just when they manage to get a good hit in, times goes up XD
It's also always fun to avoid Snake's grenade launcher in those same 5-10 seconds if he's deliberately aiming at you because he's already killed the other two but you keep dodging XD.
But, I do wish I could play people I actually KNOW instead of random people XP